The Author’s Mother Writes a Grocery List

“Isn’t this what they taught us back in school? Isn’t this what good wifehood looks like? A hot, hot oven with something bubbling over inside? Dinner on the table and a house of closed mouths?”

Get an oil with a low smoke point, canola or sunflower.
00:07
Let it pop up on your skin and remind you you still have your hands
00:12
and bellies to feed and babies who know nothing of your wedding vows.
00:16
Pick up chicken to spatchcock.
00:18
Tell the butcher you’ll cut the backbone out yourself.
00:21
If you are going to spend the week crying, buy a crate of onions.
00:26
Might as well get a soup out of it.
00:29
Might as well get to make something burn.
00:31
Bring home live lobsters.
00:33
Watch them give in to the boil.
00:35
Press your palm hard against the stockpot.
00:38
Press your tongue back into your mouth.
00:40
Chicken cooks fastest when you split it open and lay it flat like a book.
00:45
The lobster tastes best with an absurd amount of lemon.
00:50
The key is to squeeze them until you can’t imagine
00:53
they could give any more, and then to just keep squeezing.
00:57
Isn’t this what they taught us back in school?
01:00
Isn’t this what good wifehood looks like?
01:04
A hot, hot oven with something bubbling over inside,
01:08
dinner on the table and a house of closed mouths.
01:14
(applause)

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